by The Cheese Underground Lady & her daughter, Avery
‘Twas the night before 2008, and all through the state
Not a creature was stirring, as they all slept in late.
Except for the Sauk City cheesemakers, who hung their cheeses with care
In hopes that the customers would soon be there;
The cheeses were nestled all snug on their boards,
Dreaming visions of dozens of first place awards.
And Sid Cook in his overalls, and Bob Wills in his flannel,
Had just settled down to watch the sports channel.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
they sprang from their chairs to see what was the matter.
Away they flew to the front door like a flash,
So fast did they move, that they almost did crash
Into the snowplow that had just pushed three feet of snow,
blocking their driveways — why, the driver must be from Monroe!
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a lively group of Swiss cheesemakers, all donning cheese gear.
With Jeff Wideman as their leader, so lively and quick,
Sid and Bob knew in a moment they were there to make Brick.
It was the secret New Year’s Eve Wisconsin cheesemakers quest,
Between Sauk City and Monroe – a yearly contest.
And then Jeff whistled, he shouted, and called out by name:
“Now Bruce Workman, now Myron Olson, now Steve Stettler and Shirley,
On Ron Buholzer! on Steve McKeon! on Josh Erickson and Jamie Farhney!
To the top of the porch! to the edge of the vat!
Prepare to craft your very best cheese, stat!
As cheese curds do squeak the fresher they are,
you see, the Monroe boys had traveled quite far
To conquer Sauk City’s Sid Cook and Bob Wills,
To see who could make the best Brick in a battle of skill.
And then, in a twinkling, the Monroe bunch did shout,
“This year is our year – we’ve learned all about
Master cheesemaking from the Center of Dairy Research
And now our Brick cheese is about to perch
On the pinnacle of success, and we know we will win
So get out your cheese knives and let’s begin.”
So Bob and Sid, they began to think
What recipe to use, and then Sid did wink
And he whispered to Bob — let’s go get Joe Widmer
He’s the best of the Brick makers, he’ll make us a winner.
So as Bob snuck out to go find Joe,
in his spare time, Sid opened another store.
When Bob and Joe returned, he and Sid made quick
On their promise to beat the Monroe bunch at Brick.
The battle was on! How the curds and whey flew!
Like cheese curds in a tornado, the two teams did brew.
Their best batches of Brick were well underway
with Joe secretly coaching Bob and Sid all the way.
At the end of the night, Bill Wendorff did appear
to judge the Brick contest, to see whose cheese was premiere.
As Bill tasted the Sauk City concoction and compared it to Monroe’s,
He said with a smile, the nose always knows!
These two cheeses are equal in every way, shape and form,
I do declare a tie and I would like to inform
That we have two winners tonight
So congratulations to all, and to all a good night.
Happy New Year to all Wisconsin cheese lovers everywhere!
— Jeanne Carpenter