Warning: today’s post is not about cheese. Please humor me while I share what happened to me this morning.
Tell me this hasn’t happened to you: one day, you’re the cool, hip mom with highlights in her hair, listening to the same radio station as your teenager, saying OMG on your Facebook account, and ordering a tall, no fat, two pump caramel latte with whip at Starbucks.
And then, the next morning, you wake up with gray hair, an extra chin and a stupid little perky snowman pinned to the lapel of your wool coat that you don’t notice makes you look completely ancient until you’re sitting in the local coffee shop, drinking a black cup of coffee next to a group of old retired guys doing the daily paper’s crossword puzzle in unison who sound something like this: “What’d you get for 23 across, Frank?” Frank cups his hand around his ear and yells, “WHAT?” The other guy repeats: “I said, what did you get for 23 across?” And someone from the other side of the room yells: “CREEL!” Which results in a “Uhhhhh” and nodding of the heads from the gaggle of old men.
What the frick?
In yet another sign that I am not getting any younger – (who says what the frick, anyway?), today was the day that a silly little silver snowman pin made me realize I am a middle aged mom. OMG.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Three weeks ago, I got sucked into going to a Lia Sophia party – you know, the kind of costume jewelry party that women who reach a certain age start spending WAY too much money on, in an attempt to look younger? I came home with three necklaces (buy two, get the third half price, whoo-hoo!) and this adorable little snowman pin the hostess through in for free. Hey – who doesn’t love stuff that’s FREE?
So I pinned it on my winter wool jacket, put it back in the closet and forgot about it until this morning when the thermometer read 33 degrees. Yep, time to break out the winter coat. I threw on the coat, took my daughter to school and mosied to the coffee shop, upon where I looked down and there it was, staring me in the face.
A stupid little silver perky snowman that jingles when I walk and sports an eternal smile. You know, the kind of thing women who have reached a certain age wear in an attempt to draw attention away from their gray hair and extra chin – the very things that I woke up with today?
I need another cup of coffee.
And a much bigger snowman pin.